When the journey begin...

Monday, April 6, 2015

My journey to be SAHM...


SAHM or staying at home mom, lebih senang housewife la hehehe sounds good to be true, just staying at home and take care of the kids... simple je kan? But the reality is, ONLY ALLAH knows... But being a mother, i believe most mother out there (i know not all) are really2 want to stay at home and take care of your own kids, kan? 

I feel u... when i delivered Luqman, counting days to go back to work was really hurt the feelings especially we had not find any babysitter or taska to send him off. Pendek kata, mencari tp clueless sebab mcm semua tmpt pun mcm x sesuai, x hygenic n byk sgt cerita yg x sedap di dengar masa tu... especially some of the taska x breastfeed friendly... Too many things in 1 time, husband pun minta tolong my mil to take care of Luqman sampai kitorg jumpa a good babysitter (which sampai besar Luqman end up dijaga oleh nenek hahah)

They are few people who are very lucky, xyah nk prepare pun klu dh nk bhenti kerja and duduk rumah, berhenti je la kan... but for me, i have few commitments i.e PTPTN, credit cards, car loan etc... so kena lah fikir panjang sikit... Actually, i took the risk, dah berhenti keja sekali masa Luqman 5months... but after 3 months, i kerja balik... reason berhenti masa tu tanpa fikir panjang sebab dh x lrt nk ulang alik seremban kl (asyik masuk lmbt ofis), stress susu drop (niat nk fully bf) and Luqman eczema. Due to this, i tendered my resignation and stay at home without any proper planning. 

As i mentioned before, bila byk commitment and xde preparation, being a SAHM i.e. housewife tanpa pendapatan adalah sgt stress... I tried to set up my online bisnes, but without knowledge how to do it, how far could you go?

The big boy Luqman 

My another soldier, Luthfi 
Alhamdulillah, Allah ease the journey for me to be a SAHM. I always want to have more time for my boys, more time for the family without stressing myself with other people problem.. (what to expect if you are a lawyer, listening and solving people problems on daily basis) 

My husband and i have never planned for me to be SAHM this early. We have discussed and i've learned a lot after i resigned from my position for the 1st time. We have agreed that in order for me to stay at home, we need to settle few of our commitments (i.e credit cards, personal loans). Mothers out there, its very important to DISCUSS this heart to heart with your husband. It's true that in our Islamic family rule, it's the husband obligation to prepare everything (nafkah) for the family but in our country economic situation today, it's very important for both of us to work and earn money in order to have a better living especially to give better education for the kids. 

Read... read and read... i bought few books on finance management (YES, my husband and i, both are not good at savings and manage our family financing). But, lesson learned... i read books and articles on financing and financial freedom. From the reading, i have planned out my aim and goals.... (ni la yang dikatakan azam tahun baru hehe) this was started from 2013... 

I started to have some sort of savings, finding on the mutual public trust and few other things as per suggested in the books and articles. Maybe it sound too late, but better late than never! 

I organised all debts including husband's commitments and started to keep track everything (here come i became mak nenek babbling and nagging to my husband to pay all his commitments every month without missing anything...! Im glad i did it) 

There's nothing easy, but after few months everything on track and we started to plan what to settle earlier and when will be our year of financial freedom?  

Never end up looking for knowledge, one of the advises is to have extra income. I started to find out anything that can be extra income for me... i tried to reset my online business but it seems doesn't work too for me. I end up failed again. 

Allah sent us rezeki in different ways, after i delivered Luthfi (Yup, i started the planning before i pregnant of Luthfi) my husband was transferred to Kota Kinabalu. This started the era of long distance relationship which really really challenge my patient to handle 2 little boys without my husband. This time it was sooooo......stressful and i am really salute to all mothers out there who have sacrifice and raising their kids alone without the husband. It is really really tough! 

After confinement, back to work without the husband, another problem when Luthfi has eczema too (lagi teruk dr Luqman and sgt2 buat i stress). At this time, i always spend my time with my friends discussing our dreams to be SAHM... We even discussed some of business plan and thinking of being partners etc (berangan itu free kan?) 

After discussion and discussion (dalam whatsapp group je pun), i came out with a plan which i really think i can do it... knowing me, extremely excited, i started to sketch everything. Here come, "KANDYHEARTS" 

To start a new thing, by the name of business, either it small or big, a proper plan is really important... well, i have no plan at all actually... where to start what to do... but i just googling around, pinterest cute stuffs etc...

Lucky me, i dont have any certain hobby that i really love to do.. (is it consider luck? hehe) so i requested my husband to buy me a mixer and electric oven which i dont know when was the last time i bake a cake.

I tried a recipe and sent the pic to few friends just asking around if they are interested to buy it.. Alhamdulillah, i got few orders which made me really excited. From then, i started to think of few desserts in mind to try of.

From that moment, i have orders for every week, now weekend meant for delivery. Hmm.. it's really tiring but there is satisfaction in there. I started to join bazaar on weekend... by joining this, it helps a lot for my business, now more followers on instagram and more orders from outsider than just friends...

But, Allah has a better plan. My husband was permanently transferred to Kota Kinabalu. We have not received the package and still didn't decide whether i should follow or not. But after few months of taking care the boys by myself with works and business, i really cant handle it by myself, i really stressed out and don't care if i need to leave my job without any income, it's ok because i just need my husband to be here with me.

Later, i tendered my resignation, do site visit to KK for our new crib and settling things for the transfer. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. We moved to a nice small house but furnished, nearby to husband's office.

After 3 months moved to KK, i was approached by a shop to buy my product... After then, KANDYHEARTS journey begins in KK... it might be getting better or getting slow in future, but i wish i can save more for the kids and reach our goal of financial freedom by that time, insyaAllah..

Now, i am a happy mother with 2 boys and coming soon another little boy =) it's tiring but it is a satisfaction.. to watch them everyday... sometimes i really want to get rid of all this, to go far away without the boys, just a day, but so far, the moment i step out the door, i feel so lonely and empty... its better to have all of them together rather than being alone huhuhu

Till then~xoxo 

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